


Stupid Things

by Beauty queen of only eighteen



Category: Zombieland
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-16
Updated: 2012-01-16
Packaged: 2015-05-20 17:08:51
Rating: K+
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7747784/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2256872/Beauty-queen-of-only-eighteen
Summary: A bit of Columbus/Little Rock bonding... or arguing, depending on how you see it. With dead baby zombies and weapon tendencies. Oneshot.





	Stupid Things

**A/N:** Two stories/chapters/whatever in one day? Agnes, you're on a roll! Reviews are love.

* * *

><p>"It's a baby."<p>

"No, it's a monkey. Why would there be a _dead baby zombie_ in the middle of a highway?"

"Because it's a zombie!"

"A baby zombie wouldn't be able to walk around and say 'oh, y'know what, I'll go to the middle of a frickin' highway!' It's not natural, okay?"

"Well obviously the baby didn't say that. That'd be stupid."

"This _is _stupid!"

There was a beat of silence. "Whatever."

"Shoot it."

"No!"

"Shoot. It."

Despite his unceasing fear of zombies and their saliva, Columbus wouldn't have been able to live knowing that he'd shot a baby, or watched a twelve-year-old shoot one. He wouldn't think of it as a zombie with a likability that it would've killed him, he'd still think of it as… a baby. With an astonishing method of eating.

"Why do we have to _shoot it_? That's—that's _stupid. _Honestly."

"Because," Little Rock rolled her eyes and dragged her words as if she were speaking to a handicapped. "If we don't _kill it, _it could be alive. And if it were _alive,_ it could attack us. Like, sneak into our car or something."

"How could it _sneak into the car_?"

"_Look,_ like you said, it ended up on the road pretty weirdly! Who the hell knows what this thing is cable of?" She nudged the baby-monkey-thing with the edge of her shiny blue sneaker.

He pressed his lips into a tight, thin line. "I'll see you in the car."

The heard the gunshots behind him before he felt the padding of skipping footsteps beside him.

"You've woken up Christa." He furrowed his eyebrows as the redhead jolted from her sleep whilst whipping out a small gun. They all had that same tendency by now.

"She'll get over it." Little Rock said nonchalantly, popping open the shotgun car door and slipping inside, waiting for the driver to do the same.


End file.
